day 12 solo sailing across the Atlantic Ocean

I’ve been thinking a lot today about expectations. Before I left, I had this quiet picture in my head of what this would feel like. I thought there would be a moment where everything just clicked. Where I’d stand on deck, look around, and think: I could stay here forever. I’m still waiting for that moment. And if I’m honest, part of me is worried it won’t come. The days out here are real. Some are calm, some are chaotic. Some are productive, some are just long. There are beautiful sunsets, yes. There are dolphins. There’s freedom. But there’s also tiredness. Small frustrations. Doubt that creeps in at night when it’s dark and loud. I think I expected the “forever” feeling to be constant. Instead, it comes in flashes. Five minutes of pure peace. A laugh at myself. A perfectly trimmed sail. Then it passes, and I’m back to being a normal human in the middle of the Atlantic. Today wasn’t dramatic. I adjusted a few things on deck. Cleaned up. Ate something simple. Sat for a while just watching the horizon move. I kept asking myself if this was the moment - it wasn’t. Maybe the lesson is that I’m not supposed to feel like I can stay forever. Maybe this isn’t about escaping into some endless bliss. Maybe it’s about being here fully, even when it doesn’t match the picture I had in my head. I’m learning that acceptance is quieter than excitement. And maybe that’s enough for now. ⚓ Life on the Showgirl is my journey toward one of the toughest solo sailing races on the planet: the Golden Globe Race — sailed solo, non-stop, and without modern technology. Follow along as I learn, prepare, and chase a dream that feels bigger than me. ------------------------------------------ New videos EVERY 7th of the month ------------------------------------------ EXCLUSIVE CONTENT!!: https://www.patreon.com/classicmara ------------------------------------------ Follow Mara: https://www.instagram.com/classicmara_/ __________________________ Support me: PayPal: https://www.paypal.me/helgamarielk Vipps: 39088 - Classic Mara Venmo: https://account.venmo.com/u/griedy1 GoFundMe: https://gofund.me/173a9a5e6 __________________________ Affiliate links: Dakota Lithium Batteries: https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=79634&awinaffid=2732466&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dakotalithium.com Orca Navigation System: https://getorca.com/?via=classicmara PitViper: https://www.pitviper.com/discount/CLASSICMARA?redirect=%2F&utm_campaign=money%2Bcounters&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=upfluence